Bread Dread

That moment. That horrendous moment when the dinner roll canister explodes. You know it’s going to happen. You expect it to happen. You need it to happen. And yet, you have no control over WHEN it happens.

Will it burst while I’m pressing it with a spoon like in the directions? Or will it explode unexpectedly while I’m placing it on the counter? Or will it suddenly lose its shit while I’m peeling off the outer label?

They’re unpredictable, scary and downright bitchy – yet, they yield the most popular item on everyone’s holiday dinner table. There is no bargaining with them or figuring them out. Nobody’s YouTube video will effectively show you how to beat the system.

It’s a game of chance that we’re all willing to play because, dear God, making biscuits from scratch is just NOT gonna happen.

It is, forever, one of life's harshest peeves.

Speaking of food crimes...