Destination Donation

Okay, I’ll buy your kid’s candy bar for their sports team, donate to whatever fundraiser to cure something, and dig deep when disaster strikes somewhere. But, no, I will not fund your trip to Hawai’i.

“Aw, but it’s for a cancer marathon!” Fab, do the one in your nearest city.

“But I’d rather do it in Hawai’i!” Wouldn’t we all. Hell, everything is more fun on a tropical island. That doesn’t mean you get to trick people into covering your dream vacay under the guise of curing awfulness.

You want to run ridiculous lengths and have people give you money for charity? Sounds great…but your plane ticket, hotel room, food, incidentals and mini-bar raid should be nowhere NEAR those dollars earmarked for philanthropy. And wait, if I’m donating dinero, you should be, too – it’s YOUR charity!

“Well, I need to use my money for travel expenses.” Mmm, yeah. So Operation Sick Puppy could be getting even more money…but you’d rather fly to Paris for the Puppy Pedals Bike-o-Thon than just give the cost of your trip straight to, ya know, sick puppies. Got it.

Just because we’re suckers for a cause doesn’t mean we’re patsies for you. You want to be a globetrotting do-gooder? Sounds great. You’re rescuing young girls from forced prostitution in New Delhi? I’ll reach for my checkbook at lightning speed. Your shovel broke while digging a village well in Malawi? I’ll dig out my credit card right now. You want me to donate so you can Paddleboard for Peace in Fiji?  Um…fuck off.

Speaking of bullshit charity...