Expressive Coffee

Stop what you're doing. We're all going to say this together:  THERE IS NO X IN ESPRESSO. Say it. Aloud. I'm serious. Even if you think you're saying it right, even if you're sure you got this...let's just take a moment to be certain. Because this shit is out of control. It was cute back in the 90s when coffeehouses began their coast-to-coast invasion and folks in the heartland as well as big cities added an X where it didn't belong.

Everybody smiled like parents watching Brytni feed herself for the first time as applesauce hit the floor and peas got lodged in her ears. It was an adorable mess, but eventually, everybody would clue in and they'd get it right...right? Wrong! So very wrong. It's only gotten worse, and there's no sign of it slowing down or self-correcting so let's get this done.

Here we go: ESSSSSSSSSSSSPRESSSSSSSSSSO. See? No X. Not at the beginning. Not at the end. Nowhere. Just a whole bunch of S's. Now, try this one:  THAT CUP IS EXPRESSLY FOR EXPRESSO. Got it? Positive? Maybe say it out loud just to be sure?

Espresso is not "fast coffee." Its name has nothing to do with the word "express" at all. Not Coffee Express, Doughnut Express, Cafe Express, To-Go Mug on the Expressway, or anything regarding "express." The cute factor in "expresso" is loooooooong gone, guys. It left in 1997.

Speaking of saying shit wrong...