Left Out

Traffic is flowing, everybody’s getting where they need to go, and the civil engineering gods are smiling…until some dip-fuck decides to show off his impressive lack of signaling abilities. His skills of omission are so finely tuned, he can wait until the last possible nanosecond to let everyone behind him know that he’s turning left. And he’ll punctuate his expert dip-fuckery by making damn sure there’s no route of possible escape for those trapped behind him.

Watch him demonstrate his prowess as he deftly slams on his brakes ensuring that you’re glued to his butt bumper with no way out. Notice the finesse with which he ignores your futile struggle to bolt as cars behind you flee and swerve to avoid the intersection clusterfuck in progress. Appreciate his well-honed craft of entrapping several cars at once thereby guaranteeing that some poor schmuck will be left mid-intersection when the light turns red.

So thorough is his mastery, so solid his technique, that no amount of honking, yelling or single digit waving will deter him from displaying his expertise to all in his wake. A more average driver would suck it up with a u-turn at the next block rather than torture those behind them, but not this artful asshole.

The rest of us are forced to accept our mediocrity and surrender our forward momentum to his genius in turn signal avoidance. Yet deep within us burns an optimism, a desire, a faith that somewhere, sometime somebody will drop a nail on the road that will find its way into the path of this left turn stealing shithead.

On the topic of fear of being "left out"...(HA!!)...