Hey, store managers (particularly, the grocery store variety), what’s with your whole bait-and-switch bullshit on the merchandise shelves? Yay, we’re excited to see you have plenty of raisins today…only to get closer and discover you've pushed the dried cranberries into the empty raisin slot so your shelves won’t look empty.
Hey, awesome, my shampoo’s on sale…or some jackwad spread the Axe body spray cans out to fill in the blank spot. Oh, cool, you’ve got that toothpaste I like…nope, it’s actually ass cream. Damnit! Quit nudging shit together to make it look like you’re well-stocked.
I swear, I reach for half-and-half and wind up with buttermilk, pick up maxi-pads and get Depends, or grab marinara and end up with salsa ONE MORE GODDAMNED TIME…
Those gaping maws of loneliness on your shelves are there to remind you to order more stuff – not to serve as shopping landmines for your customers.
While we're on the subject of items being out of place...
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