Movie Madness

We all understand that radioactive lizards aren’t real, an alien didn’t actually eat the stunt guy, and the starlet doesn’t really have smoky blue eyelids. A little Hollywood Magic makes for a good time…until they peeve us off.

When’s the last time you actually hung up on somebody during a normal conversation without some sort of goodbye? Unless you’re a dick, the answer is, likely, never. Yet we see it all the time onscreen. 

“Okay, I’ll meet you later for dinner [click].” Yeah, right – try ending a call with your real-life woman like that. I

DARE you.

“Yes, sir, I’ll look into it [click].” Welcome to unemployment, pal.

“Yes, Mom, I heard you [click].” Grounded!!

And the whole hit-people-in-the-head gag…what IS that?! If somebody actually swatted you upside the head with a rolled up magazine or newspaper, there would be no laugh track. That shit would HURT and you’d be PISSED. Yet, it’s used all the time onscreen as if this is a thing people actually do in life. Ya know, those playful concussions. More like, “The lovable, wise-cracking teacher who swatted his pupil in the head with a textbook…is now in custody.”

Also, the get-up-and-walk-around-while-we-talk bullshit…whaaaaaa?  We’re sitting on a couch talking about our mother when I suddenly get up and walk to the other side of the room and stare out the window, while continuing the conversation. You’d be like, “What? I can’t hear you.” You’re arguing with your colleague about a document when he suddenly gets up and walks behind a desk and slams his fist on it. And you’re all, “Why’d you go way over there? Dude, the document was right here.”

You've moved beyond the spit-take, Hollywood. You can do this, too.

Speaking of movies, there are no happy endings with this seat related silliness...