Your mouth is not a storage facility. You do not need a cigarette rolling precariously across your lips as you speak. It worked for James Dean in “Giant”…but it does not work for you. Nor do you need a spit-covered toothpick lolling around your mouth all afternoon. It made Joe Pesci look tough in “Casino”…but it makes you look like you were too lazy to throw it away after dislodging that clod of meat from between your molars an hour ago. Ditto with the strand of straw dangling from the corner of your mouth. Instead of announcing to the world, "Hey, y'all, I'm a cowboy,"… you look like you just face-planted in a prairie.
Decades ago, the Hollywood country girl starlet cliche made that long blade of grass look enticing…but you look like a frog with a fly leg dangling from its yap. No, that pencil sticking out of your gob doesn’t bring attention to the sexiness of your lips…it makes people silently pray they don’t ever have to borrow that thing.
For real, guys, give this kitchy, played-out snooze-fest a rest already, and take the random shit out of your mouth. It’s overused, boring and just plain icky.
Besides, instead of being an intriguing turn-on, it only makes us all hear our mother’s voice, “If you fall, that’ll go straight down your throat!” Yeah. Mood kill.
Here's something else that seems quirky and cool but is actually lame...
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