Receipt of Excess

I bought four items and my receipt, no joke, is longer than my entire body. Seriously? You’re gonna charge me for a bag to carry my items because it’s “wasteful”…yet you use an entire sequoia forest to print my receipt?

“Let us suggest some products you might like.” Great idea. Let me bail on this endless checkout line so I can grab that fungus cream and pork rinds multi-pack I didn't come in here for. Who do you think you are -- Target?

"Visit our website to tell us about your experience." Yeah, I totally want to reminisce about our time together. Remember when I bought that Chapstick and you handed me a fucking beach towel made out of paper?

"Log on here and register to win!" Whoa, the opportunity to give you my personal information AND the potential for another freeway-length receipt? Could I be so lucky?!

YOU are why we can’t have nice things.

Speaking of drugstore items...