Spongy Manners

Gotta wash this glass, so I’ll just pick up that sponge and…GAAAARRRG!! That sopping wet, cold, meal-encrusted blob is no longer a kitchen sponge – it is now a bacteria rave. And its slime coating is butt-cringingly nasty.

Wring that shit out, people! Rinse it, squeeze it, set it to dry. It’s simple, easy to accomplish and (here’s the best part) totally considerate of the next person who’ll need to use it. All finished with that washcloth? By all means, please leave it in a soapy, goopy pile for someone else to deal with. Finished with the pan scrubber? It’d be super fab if you could leave pieces of food stuck in it because the next person will appreciate the shuddering waves of disgust that will travel up their spine straight to their gag reflex muscles.

Helping in the kitchen at a school function or friend’s party? Nothing says “team player” like leaving a drenched dishtowel in a heap for some sucker to pick up only to have that soggy bitch yell “PSYCH!” as they wipe a wet germ glaze over the dish they just washed.

No one likes a clammy, pathogen covered cleaning tool, so for crap’s sake, just wring it out and hang it up. It might not exactly make you popular, but at least you won’t get sponge-smacked by the friends you already have.

Speaking of EEWWWWW...