Tag Trouble

Oooh, I bought a new Whatever from your store! I bring my Whatever home and look forward to enjoying it…but you didn’t tell me that you’ve adhered a permanently bonded price tag to it with some kind of chemical compound from outer space than can only be removed by splitting a fucking atom. Or I unpack my Whatever and discover that the manufacturer affixed its ugly-ass label with a nuclear blast-proof epoxy. So, I soak, scrub, pick at, gouge and scrape, but all I accomplish is chiseling down to the unrelenting goo that remains smeared across my awesome new Whatever.

What in the unholy fuck are these people using to attach these things? They’re meant to come off when purchased – not last through the next geologic era! Hey, what a pretty vase…I can’t help but notice it was Made in Taiwan. Wow, that’s a sweet lamp…I see you shouldn’t put it in water. Nice wine glass…I like how the scungy spot sticks to my thumb.

Honestly, if I wanted crap stuck to, written on or smudged across my purchases, I have two kids who are more than happy to oblige.

Speaking of leery labels...