Aaaah, just gonna kick back and relax with friends while enjoying a cocktail and some great conversation…or maybe everyone will simply stare at the giant television that’s been awkwardly wedged into the corner. Hoping to savor a glass of wine with your date in a quiet corner of that romantic inn? Not a chance, pal. There’s a widescreen bolted to the wall now. Hey, parents, drag your kids away from those screens and head out for a fun night of family bonding and…screens.
Why does every location under the sun need a fucking TV?! Restaurants, bars, gas stations, grocery stores, waiting rooms, lobbies, locker rooms, elevators, mechanics – why? Not every lounge needs to be turned into a goddamned sports pub. Every line doesn’t need a dipshit cartoon. Whose idea was it to subject customers in waiting rooms to the lobotomy that is daytime television? And the notion that it’s somehow possible to ignore the 65″ Ultra High Definition, Surround Sound atrocity with its brightness level set to Cornea Melt is a total fallacy. When did everybody become toddlers who can’t be without their TV binkies? We’re adults not three-year-olds on the couch with a fever.
Only YOU can stop this lazy, moronic trend. You walk into your favorite bar or restaurant and discover an LED screen gracelessly perched overhead? Kids morphing into the walking dead in the checkout line? You contemplate opening a vein with your teeth while trapped in a waiting room? Be bold. Be brave. Be a grown-up. Request that this shit be turned off. (“Excuse me, can this shit be turned off?”) Or just unplug that bitch yourself. It’s the Great TV Turnoff, peevers – hop onboard!
Some other things should maybe stop, too...
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